Star Trek

Chris and I attended the Star Trek convention at the Westin St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco today. We saw many vendors, presentations by different actors and saw Walter Koening speak. Best part? Meeting LeVar Burton and telling him how much we love his work on TNG and Reading Rainbow. He was incredibly nice.

 

By the time we decided to go ahead and buy a photo-op with him, it was too late, but we went into the room where the autographs were being signed just to meet him. So, while I have no proof that I met him (pics or it didn't happen), it doesn't even matter to me; I would die happy today having shook his hand.

 

This was our first convention but we already plan on going to next year's. Does this officially make us trekkies? 

Blogging Left-handed

Got off late because I was training a person, didn't have time to go to my last run with RFW, and then cut my hand open on a glass that broke while I was cleaning it.

My mind went to, "If I had been off on time, running with my group..." then realized it might have been Chris instead of me and I wouldn't have been here to teach him how to staunch a wound with a maxi pad when you don't have a first-aid kit.

Films and shows.

What a weekend. On Saturday, my nephew's football game followed by a Falcon's Eye production of Romeo and Juliet at Three Stages with our friend Nathan. Excellent show! I highly recommend anyone in the area go check it out before it leaves.

Sunday morning was pumpkin pancakes with our good friends Jimmy and Yazzy, followed by Flight with Chris's parents. After dinner, Garry wanted to go see Skyfall.

I worked an extra day this week so Chris and I are treating ourselves with Cloud Atlas. I feel like most of my time lately has been in movie theaters.

Great adventures. I highly recommend all the movies I've mentioned.

Election Day 2012

Fuck Mitt Romney. If he wins tonight, he's promised to roll back all the work Obama and Dems have done to give this country back to the middle class. I really hope the electorate isn't that stupid.

I am Sherlocked.

Some time ago, Chris told me about this updated Sherlock Holmes show on the BBC. There was one episode available on Netflix at the time.

Being a huge fan of the original stories, I was skeptical that a modern take would sit well with me. In fact, I've refused to watch the movies because I think it's a disgrace that Sherlock is shorter than Watson and that all the trailers have shown some Victorian era action hero who happens to have the same name as my most beloved literary figure.

I watched it anyway and enjoyed it very much. I watched the next two episodes when they were available and then the internet exploded. I had no idea the show was so popular. There were people all over the place posting their favorite Benedict Cumberbatch photos and memes from the show. What a sensation!

A friend of mine, Sarah, came over and we began watching Season 2 (Series 2, properly). I finally finished the season on Friday night, having put off the last two episodes because I didn't want it to end. It was incredible. I actually love how they've taken my favorite stories and put a modern twist on them. I love picking out little tidbits they've added from the original stories that the casual viewer would miss. Rather than ripping off a popular figure, this show has really payed homage to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It's incredible. I think Steven Moffat may be my new hero.

Anyway, that is all. I just wanted to let you all know my latest obsession, since I still haven't been able to bring myself to watch past the Tenth Doctor.

Apparently, all pictures I've uploaded to my blogs from my old google account have been removed from the Picassa Web album that use to house them. The account has some other pictures, but none of the ones uploaded to my blogs.

To put it lightly, this irks me.

>:(

First 5k

I ran my first 5k today. My chip time was 38:47.17. Not bad at all for a first-timer.

I'm already thinking ahead to my next run, wondering if it will be December, January, or both.

My legs are sore. I took a three hour nap when Chris and I got home this afternoon. It's time to enjoy some chai tea and relax.

:)

200th Post and a New Goal

Tonight, during stretching, my running group cheered for me and wished me luck on my run on Sunday. I'm doing the Hot Pink Fun Run in Roseville. If I feel as good on Sunday as I did tonight, I'm going to do just fine.

I'm picking up my packet on Saturday before Chris and I head to the Renaissance Fair in Folsom. It will be a weekend of firsts for me, as I've never raced and I've never been to a Ren Fair. It's still up in the air whether I will dress up or not.

We've got a lot going on in the next couple of weeks, followed by the holidays, which will undoubtedly be busy as well. I'm not going to let this deter me. I'm going to continue running and probably take the 5k maintenance class with RfW, or maybe even the Intermediate class, which has a 10k as it's goal race. By next fall, I want to have done a 10k or be training for one. This is my new goal. Wish me luck, folks.

Plant Updates

I have three spider plants my great-grandmother gave me. One lived in a glass for two years. It's potted now and doing well.

One of the other two plants started growing rapidly. I have been watching it, curious about the height of the leaves and the robustness of it. I suspected it was growing babies very close to the main plant.

My suspicions proved correct and I was hoping they'd branch out a little more before I cut them. Well, they didn't grow out, they grew up. One of them has a very deep root and the other two just shot up high. The main plant, however, has small, thin leaves. The babies were too much for it, so I had to remove them.

I took the two large babies and put them in a plastic cup. The one with the root I left, hoping the two plants can coexist. I suppose we'll find out. If anything, at least one will survive.

The jade cutting my mom gave me is finally starting to get two little white shoots at the bottom. It's been over a month since my mom sent me home with it. I finally gave up on my Christmas cactus and so it has a pot it can live in when it's ready.

The philodendron is also growing and so I've had to pinch quite a bit so it doesn't grow too long or bushy. If I ever get a chance to hang it, I'll let it grow longer.

My air fern...is an air fern. I'm not sure it's even a plant. It just sits there. I spray it from time to time. It never changes.

I don't really know what I'm doing. The only plants I've ever been able to keep alive were spider plants, my oldest lasting five years before it died. We'll see how these two babies turn out. I feel lucky all my plants have survived this long.

Less Than Two Weeks

I have less than two weeks before my first ever 5k run. I'm super excited. I'm doing the Roseville Hot Pink Fun Run benefitting the Placer Breast Cancer Endowment. Team Tatariffic has two members now. I thank my friend Ray for asking me to do this with him, this convincing me not to do the zombie mud run, which probably would have been a bit much for a first-ever race.

This week in Running for Women, we are progressing from nine reps to eleven of 1 1/2 minutes running to 2 minutes walking. I'm going to be looking for either a bridge class over the holidays or see if any of the women still want to meet at the usual times to continue running. In January, I might take the intermediate class or the 5k maintenance class or I might do a different program altogether. I like the run/walk, but I know I can do a continuous run for at least two miles, so I might try something new.

What I love about all of this is that I can call myself a runner. When Chria and I are playing around and chasing each other to the mail box or whatever, my body automatically clicks into form without me thinking about it. It's like turning on a machine, I just love it. Can't wait for the 21st!

A Race Tips Sheet from my Coach

TIPS FOR A GREAT FUN RUN



Get your race gear ready before race morning. Set everything out the night before so it’s ready to go.

Pin on your race bib (it goes in front) in a comfortable place. Be sure the pull tag can be easily removed. You might be shedding a layer or two of clothing during the race, so make sure the bib is pinned under those layers you’re likely to remove.

Don’t forget hat/gloves/sunglasses/sunblock/lip balm.
Make sure you use the restroom before you leave. Get there extra early if you think you might need one at the race. These portables often have big lines!

Eat and drink exactly what you usually do before a run. Don't try anything new. You don’t need any surprises!

There will likely be water stations on the race course, but BYO if this makes you more comfortable.
Make sure you give yourself time to warm up. You can park far away and use the walk to the race as your warm-up.

DO NOT GO OUT TOO FAST!!!
This is the hardest piece of advice to follow. It's difficult not to get caught up in all the excitement, but you'll be much happier if you stick with your own comfortable, usual pace. Put blinders on and don't focus on those around you.

Do your current run/walk workout.
· TAKE YOUR WALK BREAKS NO MATTER WHAT!

As Jeff Galloway preaches, walk early and often. This is how you get the most benefit from walk breaks. You'll feel fresh throughout the race and you won’t be dragging at the end.

Remember, you've done this workout during the week and it's easier at a fun-run since you're pumped up from the energizing atmosphere.

When you slow down for a walk break, move to the side of the road (preferably the right side). People coming up behind you are still moving and if you stop in front of them, the scene is set for a collision.

Use visualization - picture yourself running across the finish line with your friends and family cheering you on. This always works for me!
Begin running as you near the finish line, even if you’re in the midst of a walk break. It’s so much fun to surge through the chute looking good for the cameras!

SMILE AND HAVE FUN!!!

My Nephew is Growing Up

A couple years ago I took my nephew to see Toy Story 3 and it hit me how fast he was growing up. There was a moment in the opening of the movie where Andy is being measured against a door jam. My sister does that with her boys. I looked over at my nephew right at that moment, knowing how fleeting time is. Now he's 12 and taller than me.

...He didn't even get a coloring page at dinner tonight...

I finally got a chance to watch him play tonight. He scored a touchdown against an undefeated team. Only two other teams have scored against these guys in quite some time. I can see why, since they are obviously being fed human growth hormone or something. I swear they were eight feet tall and watching them tackle my nephew on a couple of carries was scary as hell for me.

He was fine, of course. He's tough, fast and lean and he's been training for it. Still, he'll always be my "little" nephew. He could grow eight feet tall and it wouldn't matter.

I'm a proud auntie today. My nephew plays well, he's smart and he's quick. Most of all, he's having a good time, which is the most important thing to me. They lost today, but they looked damn good doing it against a very tough team.

Until next time, Go Trojans!

9/23/2012

The earth in the stony mountains is hard-packed and tough with roots all through it, even when you dig away from the growing things.

My husband worked with gloved hands, pushing and stomping a shovel into the red dirt, to break a hole where his grandma's dog Rhett would lay to rest. Just about a month ago he came to live with my in-laws after the sudden loss of his owner and rescuer, Dorothy, one of the sweetest of ladies that ever lived.

Dorothy got Rhett after he was rescued from an abusive home. For the first few years, he shied around doors as if expecting punishment on the other side. It was also said he mistrusted men for a long time. By the time I met him, not a trace of those fears remained.

Rhett was old. He had a seizure disorder and arthritis. He had just lost his best friend in the whole world. He was happy at the Grahams' but his poor body couldn't take the loss. We buried him today in the garden, overlooking the house.

This year has been a year of loss. It's been a year of battles. It's been a year of growing closer to those we love and realizing a deeper appreciation for the unconditional love of the family and friends that surround us through the bad times and good. I have an amazing husband an incredible family and wonderful in-laws to thank for the support that has gotten me through this year. The hardest part about this is that I don't get to tell Dorothy "thank you."

Disneyland

The Disneyland Hotel has two water slides in their pool area. The beginning of each is shaped to look like the monorail, which has a station right next to the hotel in Downtown Disney. The same friendliness and service you'd expect at the park is given at the hotel. After a three night stay there, I'm not sure how I'll ever be able to stay in another hotel near there again.

Mock Jack-o-lanterns, pumpkins and other harvest vegetables decorated lamposts and windowsills at the park, tied with Orange ribbon and autumn-colored bows. It gave a distinctly October feel even though it was one-hundred degrees both days we went. Hopefully, next time we go won't be so hot. It was brutal, but it was worth it.

California Adventure looks very nice. The front is more cohesive with the 1920's Hollywood theme they modge-podged together before this last remodel. Cars Land's forced perspective is incredible, but both of the big name rides were more hype than they were worth. While the Radiator Springs Racer was fun, it was a little slow and Luigi's Tires just needs to be taken out for something else. The land just has too much of a "kiddy" feel to it, like most of "A Bug's Land," which makes me wonder if Disney isn't trying to take the park in that direction on purpose. It would be a disappointment to those who appreciate the addition of thriller rides like California Screamin' and Tower of Terror.

Friday night my mom and I went on a run around the block, which I'm glad I did because I skipped my Monday run after the terribly long and arduous ride from Anaheim.

We did it all, our wish list rides, the new attractions and the nostalgic ones. Our last ride the last night was me and Chris on King Arthur's Carousel, which is one of my very favorite things to do with him. There's something so romantically simple about riding on a painted horse with calliope music playing underneath the golden light bulbs while the night swirls past.

Disneyland magic. It's still there, even though we've been there twice since our honeymoon now. In line for Small World, we saw a couple in bride/groom ears put in their own boat for their own private ride. I used to scoff at romance for being so sickeningly sweet, but all it took was to be romanced by the one person who would break through my toughened heart and now I look at those people and know they are the luckiest people in the world in that moment.

Still, I have enough of my old self left to tell myself, "Enough with the gooey stuff, the readers of this blog now have diabetes because it's so sweet," which brings me to another subject which I'll write about in detail on the next blog post.

Running for Women

I tried on two pairs of shoes at Fleet Feet. The first, Brooks, I picked because signing up with Running for Women came with a 20% discount on Brooks products. (It also came with a $5 off coupon towards any bra, but that's not much of a deal when the "cheap" one is over thirty dollars).

They were comfortable, supportive and I felt like they would do just fine. The. I tried the newest model of my Mizunos and and they put the Brooks to shame. Unfortunately, it was the difference between paying $80 for a pair of shoes and $115.

So the Brooks, then. They've actually worked out pretty well. I need to lace them up the way I like, but so far I haven't had any weird arch or heel pains that sometimes come with new shoes (I have a weird, high arch and I need tons of stability).

I did my first two runs in Monday and Wednesday and had a blast. I'm shy, I'm naturally protective (it really takes me a long time to let people in), and I like to take time during the intervals to just look around, so for at least 1/3 of each class I've been a one woman wolf-pack. Besides, I don't have kids or dogs, so sometimes it's hard to find topics of interest.

By the end of the second class, I was ready to run more. I have to remind myself I've been mostly sedentary for nearly six months and pushing myself is not going to do anything but injure me. At least I ride to class, so I do get that little extra on the bike.

It's beautiful and wonderful to be running again. This time around I'm really trying to concentrate on my breathing. Having a talking partner actually helps, believe it or not. I thought it would be the opposite, that conversing would make me forget my breathing but that hasn't been the case.

I'm waking up early tomorrow so I'll have to save more details for a later post. So far, a positive experience! I'm excited for next week!

Two "Getting Active" Events and Other Things

I've joined "Running for Women" through the local Fleet Feet. It's a walk/run interval program that increases over time and works toward a goal race, the Turkey Trot on November 17th. Unfortunately, I'll be missing the race because that is the day I'm going to the STAR TREK CONVENTION IN SAN FRANCISCO OH MY GOD!!!!

*ahem* 

Sorry, I'm a little excited.

I've also signed up with the American Diabetes Association for their Tour de Cure bicycle fundraiser. I've agreed to do the ten-mile family ride in Roseville on May 4th of next year, so I have plenty of time to get in shape. The booth at the air show cheered me when I signed up and gave me a shirt. It was so warm and fuzzy feeling! :) I'm riding for my dad, who has type 2 diabetes.

In October Chris and I are going to go see Richard Dawkins in Berkeley for his US tour. I'm about as excited as I get when I'm going to see a concert. I'm literally giddy. I can't wait!

A lot going on. Big, fun, exciting things! After so much hard work and adjusting to life here, I finally feel a little weight off my shoulders. I feel stable enough to be able to commit to things long term. What a feeling! It helps that I'm working four days a week instead of five now. I cut my hours from 47 to 39. It was just too much, but now I will be better rested and able to do a better job at work. Oh, and of course, Disneyland next weekend. Slap some ears on me and call me a mousekateer because I am all about having fun in Disneyland! Until next time!

Loon Lake Weekend

Loon Lake is a reservoir surrounded by granite in the Sierra's. From Highway 50 past Pollock Pines, you take Ice House road past Union Valley Reservoir. It's a good long, windy drive to get there and you won't have much cell signal, but it's worth it.

Saturday, Chris and I met up with our friends Jimmy and Yazzy for a picnic lunch and a short hike.

I did not hear any loons, but I think they make their noise at night, so I'm sorry I missed that, but the gnarled old trees, hillsides of bushy manzanita and granite outcroppings were so wild looking that we would have been loons to go too far on the trail. We went back to town and had dinner with Jimmy and Yazzy.

I'm usually burned enough by this time of year to not have to worry, but this year I haven't been out as much and I sunburned my shoulders and neck. My bad.

A funny thing happened that day. We were singing "Eye of the Tiger" while hiking and that very song came on later in the car when we were leaving Jimmy and Yazzy's house after dinner. I think that will be our new Loon Lake song next time we go exploring out there.

I also learned something on the trail I'm not at liberty to discuss, but I will update when I can. Until then, all I can say is that I'm really glad I have the people I do in my life. I'm honored bu and grateful of the presence of such wonderful people.

That was pretty much my weekend. I was going to do canvassing for Garamendi again this Sunday, but completely forgot. Chris and I had fish and chips and bread pudding at deVere's with our friend Dennis. It was a last night out after going on a stricter budget as Chris enters into his last month without income. It was a good weekend with friends and awesome food.

Tennis

My husband is an absolute gem. He's convinced me to take up tennis a couple days a week at the court at our apartments. I eventually want to get running again, but having taken a few months off, I know that this will take awhile to build back up to where I was when I stopped (fail, on my part, I should have stuck with it).

Anyway, the other day on the court Chris hit it over the fence onto the railroad tracks. He insisted I wouldn't be able to find it, which made me all the more determined. After five minutes perusing the oleander-lined fence, I found the ball and tossed it back over the fence without a word. When I came back around to the court I found my husband like this:

He said, "This tennis ball fell from the sky!" I laughed so hard and took a quick picture. He's one goofy mo-fo. That's why I married him. :)

Eid and Fun

Eid was an incredibly successful event put on by my dear friend and her mother. These two classy ladies know how to host a party, setting out saluna, baklava, hummus and other deliciousness for their guests. This was the largest Eid to date, with people having to eat outside!

Guests got henna, smoked some hookah, ate more even if they were already full. The last few years have turned this into my very favorite holiday.

It was great to be back up the hill to see friends that we don't get to see as often now that we live in Davis. I had a really great time.

Our weekends are full for the next few weeks, so there will be more gatherings and fun stuff to write about. Plus, with Chris and my Halloween costumes almost ready, we've got some planning to do for a possible sequel to last year's success. Stay tuned!

Tea and Life.

Well, I'm getting into tea. I've used loose-leaf in a tea ball before, but I've taken Chris's pot down from the dusty shelf and am giving it new life. It's a ritualized process, with the measuring, boiling, steeping and pouring. I need ritual. I'm very undisciplined and there has been a lot going on lately that has reminded me of the unpredictability and chaos of life (this year has literally been shit –fuck 2012).

Chris's grandma passed away recently. I've been reluctant to share too much about it online, but I think it's time to write about it. Her name was Dorothy Todd and she was an amazing artist, woman and grandma. I was welcome into her family from the first time I met her. I can't even say that about my own family at times. It was really sudden and unexpected and we're all still really dazed from it.

Leo, whose fin-rot we thought we'd cured a little under a year ago, got it again a few weeks ago. It wasn't responding to the medicine that we got him last time, so we switched to tetracycline, but it is more than likely too late for him. He's eating, but he's not swimming straight and he's spending a lot of time on the floor of his tank, often on his side. We've had him just 18 months. A few months after his first bout, I went into the PetCo where I got him. All the Bettas had it. I will never buy anything from there again and I'm pretty pissed about it.

So, tea. I got an ounce of Rain Forest Light Black Tea from the Co-op. It's a bit strong for me, which is what I can say about this year so far. That is all.

Plants

I have killed my aloe plant and (probably) my rebutia krainziana. I was keeping my cacti and succulents in the original pots and soil they came in from the store, and I don't think they were draining well. I've now transplanted them all, including the Christmas Cactus Chris got me, in hopes that they will stay lively. The aloe plant was unsalvageable, it was rotting from the inside out. I bought a new one today when I went to get new soil and pots for my little guys. Spider plants and philodendron are still doing just fine, though I want to transplant the philodendron soon, or at least replace the soil. I've noticed when buying plants that the soil they come with isn't always in the best shape. I keep you updated on the krainsiana while I peruse reddit's r/plants forum for helpful tips.

I've Injured My Back

I was at work and I over did it somehow. Worker's comp doc is great. I got a heating pad, ice packs, ThermaCare packs and a pillow. Anywho, I took today off and go in for a follow-up tomorrow. It already feels better with the heat on it, but standing wears me out. Bleah. I hate missing work. :(

Job Stress

One month at my new job. Better pay, a little higher stress. A lot higher stress on some days.

I took a Tylenol PM about two hours ago and still can't wind down. Here's to a better tomorrow.

I Heart NPH

Neil Patrick Harris tweeted me back today. My life is complete.

Picnic Day!

Picnic Day was a roaring success. Mom came down and the three of us went to watch the parade downtown. After the California Bacon Benedict at the Black Bear Diner, we headed on campus to explore the exhibits.

Mom bought me a shirt from the Antro club. We visited the AGASA booth where my mom got de-baptized. The fundraiser was to throw a balloon at an AGASA member to baptize them whatever religion a person wants, but I asked them to debaptize my Mormon mom for me.

We went to veterinary medicine to see kitties and reptiles, hung out at plant sciences, saw the electric and hydrogen vehicles and saw a girl get busted with alcohol and pot in the arboretum. (Picnic Day is near extinction because of the amount of drinking-related disturbances in the past few years. I have no problem with partaking, but people need to do that shit at home).

We walked downtown for Record Store Day, but went back home when the bars started overflowing. We had dinner and mom left and that was the end of Picnic Day. I've been checking the news to see if the trouble caused by the thousands of attendees from out of town was any worse than last year. We saw two people being arrested in front of The Bistro when we were walking home.

Next big event is Whole Earth. My Tye Dye dress is fitting much better these days, so I can't wait to hippy it out for that! >< I love living here.

I have gained a pound.

And I am owning up to it and taking responsibility for it. I'm also going to change it. Last week was the culmination of a few weeks of slip and sliding downhill toward imminent weight-gain. I grabbed some chocolate here, sugared soda there, chose a quick, frozen pasta meal over taking the time to prepare the good stuff. And when I weighted in on Wednesday, I had gone from 142 to 143.

No more! I refuse to allow my own poor discipline and self-justification stop me from admitting my fault and getting back up on that horse! Excuses be damned. Rain cannot be an excuse not to move around for an entire day of reading and internetting. I have an apartment gym if I can't go outside. I haven't run in a few weeks, complaining that I lost my iphone holder the last time we did a deep clean of the apartment.

Today, I was going to refuse to resurrect because it is Easter, but I may need to rise again and drag my husband out for some recreational activities in our lovely little town. Maybe its time for a picnic with salad and wonderful noms.

James Cavern

Last night, while killing time before a Deaf event at the Dive Bar, I heard a new cover of an old song, Usher's "Nice and Slow." It was very nice, but I was wondering why it was so loud. I was headed toward the Zuhg Life and I glanced over and there was a stage with a man in a hoodie playing an acoustic electric guitar. I was floored. It was so beautiful and the voice so flawless, I had thought it was recorded music. I stopped in my tracks and when I could breathe again, I went over to watch.

The man with the voice played three more songs, one of them his own, and I learned his name and that he was a local musician in the Sacramento area. His name is James Cavern and he has one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard. To top it off, his favorite band is The Beatles; it's clear he knows good music. My readers, you all know how I feel about The Beatles. I bought the last CD the store had in stock and continued on with my way.

There are three times in my life that music has stopped me in my tracks and I remember them all clearly. The first time I heard "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away," by The Beatles when I was about eleven was the first. The second time was a few years ago when I borrowed a classical music CD and Erik Satie's "Trois Gymnopédies," and the third was yesterday. If I hadn't shaken his hand after the set, I'm afraid I would have been convinced he wasn't a mere mortal.

He is, in fact, a normal human being, with a Facebook and you can find him by looking in your search bar and liking his band page.

April 3, 2012

I have so many plants now. I bought an air fern in SF on Sunday and it lives in a little urchin shell. My mom bought me a big old plant when she came to visit a couple of days ago. I forgot what she called it, but the name on the tag says "philodendron." It's a hangy, viney-looking thing with heart-shaped leaves. My three cacti and aloe plant are doing well. My spider plants as spidery as ever. I even added a little topsoil to the poor little Christmas cactus Chris gave me and it stopped wilting. The flowers he got me aren't looking so droopy anymore, either. I've found the right watering schedule for them, I think.

San Francisco was beautiful on Sunday. We went down there with friends Jimmy and Yazzy, taking BART at the closest station and riding into Embarcadero. We met up with some more friends and my sister and her boyfriend and shopped a bit. I found the most awesome store in history in Japantown. It's called "Daiso" and everything in it is Japanese and only a dollar-fifty or less. We went to sushi afterward, which was a ton of fun and I wore my sushi earrings I got at Claires (yes, I'm a tween), so it was fitting.

It's Spring Break, so I don't have to go to school this week, but I'll be at a Deaf Night Out event in Sacramento on Friday. I tried to bring my mom to one a couple weeks ago, but she forgot all the sign I taught her and so it was a little hard, but I have some really great friends in the Deaf community that helped her out. There were a couple times I was signing and forgot to voice for her. I felt bad, but sometimes it's just easier.

Those are my updates for the evening of April 3, 2012. Erm...I forgot to mention April Fool's Day. Chris and I changed our relationship status to "Open" on facebook and my mom freaked out. Everyone else got it. It was hilarious. Here's a link to some screenshots. I tried to go back later to take more, but we had already changed the status back and couldn't visit that comment thread anymore (fucking facebook). It was pretty classic. Anyway, have a good Spring Break, everyone.

March 25th

I'm the kind of person who always wonders "what if?" in any situation. I'll read a quote online and before I repost it, I make sure that a second source can confirm it is correct and that it is by the person it is attributed to. I'm the kind of person that, when conflict arises, I try to think back over my actions of the last few months, or sometimes years, to figure out where I may have gone wrong. I ask other people as well, trying to get an idea of where I'm at and where I should be. I don't rest my head easily at night sometimes, and that's okay. At least I know I'm thorough.

Someone told me recently she will "rest her head at night" easily, regardless of her actions being extremely unethical if not down-right immoral. I can only assume people like that rest their heads at night so easily because they A) push out of the minds that they've dont anything at all or B) have convinced themselves that their actions were warranted, like the other person deserved it or something. This is the only explanation I can find for someone being so completely okay with their falsehoods and fakery. In the end, it's people like this who will lie straight to your face without blinking an eye and still live with themselves.

Today I got a phone call from someone who has a great deal of integrity and warmth for other people. This person doesn't boast or put others down. This person doesn't pick and choose who he "forgives" based on his desire for attention and social status. This person doesn't steal from others or make up stories. This person is willing to tell the truth. And the truth I heard tonight is that I should never have let that kind of poison in my closest circle of friends. I mentioned that maybe one person's influence on the other was at fault for a change in behavior by the latter, but then it was pointed out that both people have always been the way they are, influenced or not. It's hard to notice these things when you aren't the one bearing the brunt of a person's impertinence.

So yes, I'll rest my head tonight. I have quite a few less people to worry about and–well, they can all have each other.

Some Updates

I have been feeling restless lately. My stress level has been high for most of this semester (see previous blog post) and I'm not sleeping well. With everything that happened in February with my Gram, all the pressure from class, the strained relationship with our now ex-best friends, I just can't seem to get my head back on straight. I need some down time.

I look back on the last couple of months and I just picture myself juggling. Juggling inflamed insults hurled at me and Chris from facebook by a guy who used to respect us. Juggling hope and despair as my Gram's condition improved, worsened, improve and worsened again. Juggling staying strong for my big sister and then falling apart in quiet. Juggling the joy I feel signing to Deaf people in the real world at Deaf events and the hopelessness of forgetting sings and even trivial stuff like getting caught with gum in class. Fucking gum, seriously.

Meanwhile, Chris is drowning beneath grading papers and writing one of the most important papers in his life. He's glued to that desk on the other side of the wall. Luckily, his quarter ends next week.

I love him. He makes me dinner; that means the world to me. Sometimes we just ride around town, frizzing at the park, stopping for coffee or a mexican hot chocolate at a Ciocolat. We talk, we laugh, sometimes we just sit there and look around. He looks like a young Orson Welles, apparently. I think I'm falling in love...every single day of my life.

Oh, and we signed Alex Smith for three years. There's that, too. Go Niners.

ASL 3 Test

I swear to Jebus, I hatehatehatehatehate how hard this class is. I get so nervous testing for this teacher, I forget to breathe. Every time he looks down at his paper to mark something, I panic. I literally feel light headed after testing. I shake like a leaf. The pit of my stomach feels like it's on the floor beneath my feet. I can feel my cheeks turning red.

I recorded myself before class, just to practice. Here's a YouTube link. An English description of the story is provided for the signing impaired. I swear, if I make it through this class with a C I will be surprised. It is the hardest class I've ever taken. It makes me miss french pronouns and all it's fucked up past tenses. Hope you enjoy the video, folks.

Pathetic People.

So, it's pretty obvious to anyone close to Chris and I that we are no longer "best friends" with two people who told us we were all "best friends" but then began acting real shitty to us on facebook. The male counterpart in the couple, specifically, we'll call him Shrek. His posts and comments on facebook became increasingly inflammatory as of late and we called him on it. Chris removed him from facebook because it got so bad. We'll call the female counterpart Helga.

So when we got the text message that they had only pretended to be Chris's friend to be friends with me, it was obvious it was over, even if they didn't really mean what they said. This is someone that mc'd my wedding, standing up there acting like he was our friend. Alternatively, if he's lying about faking the friendship then he's just willing to throw all that away so he can be a dick on facebook.  People like that don't have any room in a life of joy and happiness, let me tell you.

What was funny was that Chris's unfriending them and my support of him was more of an atrocity to Shrek and Helga than what some of their other "friends" had done. Shrek and Helga were just find remaining friends with others including the girl that stole Helga's ex boyfriend, (whom we'll call Slick). Helga didn't bat an eye telling me that a girl we'll call Maggie definitely stole my shoes at my very own weddint. Maggie, of course, unfriended me after I unfreinded Shrek and Helga and when I confronted her about it (and the shoes) she denied everything, saying she only unfriended me because I had been facebook friends with her ex. An ex I met twice. Did she steal the shoes? Who knows, but I think it's hilarious that she's more mad at me for confronting her than at Helga for insisting adamantly that she was the culprit. And her and Helga are still best buddies.

It was even funnier when I shot off a quick status about the whole thing and Shrek began reporting me to the "facebook authorities." I'm not even their facebook friend anymore, yet they feel the need to come to my page. I felt so special. And when another person shot off about how I need to "look at my part," (AA recovery double-speak for you—if someone screws you over, you're supposed to see where YOU went wrong) and not post things publicly on facebook, I asked why then, did she post to the status and not just give me a private message if she really felt so concerned. Aggrandizing your own "spiritual condition" to look like the bigger person. Slow clap, there. All of these people are "best friends." No surprise. Oh, and miss Spiritual AA is also losing her husband to another woman. Hardly surprising.

The fakeness was obvious to a lot of people, though, and there have been quite a few people who have pointed out that Helga has actually always been pretty fake, jumping from friendship to friendship, always acting the innocent part when her poor choices got her in hot water and then turning around and talking about other people behind their backs. I'm sure there were things that were already being said about us before this even went down, which makes perfect sense with Shrek's "We only pretend to be friends" statement to my husband. Others have pointed out that maybe Shrek has always been a bit—well, abrasive you could say, always puffing himself up to be more than everyone else.

I usually just disregarded the tall tales as a product of his insecurity when he'd say things like, "Yeah, I had to deal with two gunshot wounds today" at a private ambulance company that does transport from senior homes to doctors' appointments day in and day out. Sacramento is a nasty city, but even that many gunshot wounds would have made it in the paper, if not the evening news. I even let it slide when he bold-faced told my parents that he would be making 100,000 dollars a year working as a manager at In-N-Out. I just kept my mouth shut and laughed it off. He still hasn't been offered the position as far as I know.

I wonder then, if Shrek even made up the story where Slick shot a man in the spine "on accident" at a house party. According to him, Slick's new girlfriend had gone home tired and pregnant and Slick had gone upstairs to fool around with someone else. This mystery gunshot victim later confronted him and about ten minutes later, the shooting accident happened. It was a nice story for someone to make up about a person they feel is still a rival, but I doubt it ever happened. Shrek also told us his ex had beastiality fetish. I guess I can write that one off as "about as real as his friendship to us," which is to say, completely fake.

Shitty. Shitty people, shitty standards. I should have known better. I wonder what it is in me that doesn't see this kind of stuff in people before I make an emotional investment in them. I really have a lot better friends than that and they're all around. I have so much better to do with my time. I guess it's just sad that it was all an illusion and I trusted these people. Let them in my home, put them at the table of honor when I got married. Just goes to show you never really know a person. That's all I'll say about Helga and Shrek.

So, Blogger, Updates and Stuff.

So, the last blog I posted was very hopeful about my Gram. I found out a few days later that she had three strokes and two were bleeding. She wasn't going to get any better. She lost her ability to speak very soon after I had written that post and when I saw her that Friday, she barely opened her eyes. My grandma may or may not have understood the things that my sister and I told her when we were telling her how much we loved her and how much she meant to us, but that doesn't matter to me. There's not much that I believe without evidence, but I want to believe some part of my grandma heard me. She passed away a week later.

Friday, we went to her funeral and it was pretty much the worst day of my life. I don't really want to talk about it. I got to see a lot of family and we got sing her favorite hymn (yes, I sang it; it holds a lot of memories for me even if I don't hold the same religious sentiments of the song) and hear about how my Gram's love made people feel safe and loved and comfortable, but it was the hardest funeral I've ever been to and nothing that was said can give me my Gram back. That's all I'll say about that.

My Grandpa is probably moving far away to live with his daughter and I don't know when I'll be able to see him again. Isn't it just fucking ridiculous that I couldn't stop in my stupid, busy schedule of getting married, working dead-end jobs, playing on the internet, etc, to visit them more often before this? So, I'm a little bit angry. Angry at myself. Angry at life. It just hurts, you know?

Ugh. I'm reading this and it sounds horrible and angry and damnit, I'm just going to leave it because it's real. Any of you that know me IRL will understand and I just want to thank you for that. I have the best friends, family and husband in the whole wide world who texted me, facebooked me and loved the crap out of me and my family while we were going through this. My birthday was the day after my Gram's funeral and my friends and sisters made it a wonderful day, regardless of the pain we all felt.

 When I'm ready, I'll post more pics of my birthday (wasn't a party or anything, just dinner and frisbee). I have some videos of me learning guitar again. Chris's mom has an old, cheap classical guitar I'm learning on because I'm having a lot of trouble on the Ibanez. I have some new running and weight goals, too. I feel pretty good about how I look right now, but I want to be more fit.

That's it. That's all I got for the night. I'm going to bed.

Lucille

Hello family and friends! It's been some time since I regularly updated this blog. Now is as good a time as any.

My great-grandmother went into the hospital in a coma on Friday from an apparent stroke. My sisters and I met at Doctor's Hospital in Manteca expecting to say our last goodbyes to her. My Gram is nintey-six. She's lived through two world wars, the Depression and 17 presidents. She's even outlived the town in New Mexico where she was born. (Go ahead, Google Venus, NM).

The thing about grandparents, and even parents sometimes, is they've always been there. It's unimaginable to think that someday they'll be gone. My Gram is like that. It was always at her house that we spent countless summer days fishing, feeding ducks, swimming and paddle-boating in the Discovery Bay where she and Grandpa lived until about '00. Christmases, Thanksgivings and family reunions were there by default. She was the glue, our matriarch.

It's been harder and harder for her and Grandpa to get out, though my Gram still drives to church on Sundays. They don't hold holiday events anymore, it's simply too much work. Our family is a bit scattered these days, not having any one place to go and even skipping chances of seeing one another this or that year because of obligations to our own nuclear families.

This weekend, my family came back together. My mother and big sister began talking again (my sister and I just started talking ourselves a few months ago, rebuilding a very damaged relationship that used to be very, very close). Great aunts, cousins and other grandparents have used facebook to keep informed those who live too far. We were acting like a family again.

My Gram was nodding, but couldn't open her eyes. The doctors couldn't tell what kind of damage had been done because her pacemaker prevented her from having an MRI. They told us she would either wake up or she wouldn't. This weekend we could do nothing but wait. It was the worst feeling in the world.

My sisters and I haven't seen a lot of our Gram since she moved to Manteca and we've gotten out on our own, living at least an hour and a half away from her and from each other. Our lives are busy and we make excuses and, like I said, there was this sense that Gram would always be there. Knowing we might lose her and never be able to make up for that was heart-wrenching.

I'll tell you what kind of procrastinators we are. My Gram gave me three baby spider plants from hers about three years ago. Two of them I potted and the third I had neither pot nor dirt for. It lived in a Pom juice glass for almost three years. This weekend I got my lazy butt up and potted the darn thing and named it Lucille. It was all I could do not to lose my mind.

My Gram spoke on Monday night. I had gone to bed early, so hadn't been awake to get the messages until the next morning. It was the best news in the whole world. I know how lucky we are. Not everyone gets a second chance like this-not with a ninty-six year old great-grandma suffering a massive stroke. I'm so grateful to my family for pulling together, for Doctor's Hospital for taking such good care of my Gram and for the latest advances in medical science treating stroke victims.

I'm going to go see my Gram this weekend. I'm going to tell her about my spider plant and tell her how much I love her and that she has always been the best grandma in the whole world. If I end up even half as awesome as her, I'll still have super-hero status. I'd like to thank all my friends and family for the support they showed during this time. I couldn't have done this without you all. Thank you.

Have a great night everyone and if you can, call your grandma.

Hi Mom! Since you're probably the only person who reads my blog. Here ya go.

Andrea

Six years ago I bought a '98 Camry with 70k miles on her. Today, I learned that repairs will be more than she's worth. She basically needs a new engine. I'm selling her to a high school shop class for parts. Basically, it's like donating to science, right?

We went over 100k miles together. I showed off her rims to the coworker I had a crush on and this June he and I took her to Disneyland on our honeymoon.

She was the only thing that was really mine as I moved from place to place through college. I paid her off over a month early, just last year.

She was a good car. I would have bought her again. (I probably would have changed her oil more often, though). I don't know if there's much more I can say about her.

RIP Andrea, 1998-2012

Cee Lo Green Re-Murders John Lennon

Cee Lo Green's changing the words of John Lennon's Imagine last night caused a twitter uproar, causing him to first respond to the outcries and then promptly delete his response. It can't be found on his twitter anymore, but other bloggers already had a screenshot.

So why all the uproar? Well, let's look at what he changed in the song and why what he changed it to made no sense. Then, we'll look at his deleted twitter response and show exactly where he misses the entire point of that line in the song.

The lyrics to Imagine include the line:

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too

Mr. Green decided that imagining no religion doesn't sit right with him, obviously holding his own beliefs himself, so he changed the last line to, "And all religion's true." All religion is true? So, Jews and Christians are both correct; Jesus both was and was not the Messiah. Muslims and Hindus have it right and now that Cee Lo Green has cleared that up, they can stop fighting over in Kashmir. Buddhists are also correct when they say there is no magical ruler Godhead at all and we are all merely subject to the cycle of death and rebirth until we find "enlightenment," which, in most cases is only reserved for men.

The uproar was immediate, not just from non-believers, but also from fans of Lennon who may or may not have their own spiritual beliefs and could still understand the meaning of the song beyond, "It says no religion, must be 'anti-God,'" (which is what I imagine went through Mr. Green's head when he changed decided to change the lyric).

Cee Lo immediately tried to explain himself when the uproar occurred over social networking sites and tweeted this:

First, you meant no disrespect? You're an artist yourself, are you not? You don't understand the implications of taking someone else's work and changing it because you don't agree with it (or understand it, in this case).

Well, he's an idiot, that much is now clear, and a lot of people lost respect for him last night because of it, but lets move on to the second part of his tweet, which he has since deleted.

"I was trying to say a world were u could believe what u wanted that's all"

Mr. Green, how blind you are. I want you to imagine for a moment what a world without any religions would really, really mean.

Imagine 9/11/2001 just being another Tuesday.

Imagine women in Saudi Arabia able to walk out into the sun.

Imagine albino children in Africa living out full, healthy lives without fear that someone will slaughter them over a superstition.

Imagine women not being buried in the ground and having rocks thrown at her because she committed adultery.

Imagine no Heaven's Gate or Waco.

Imagine people going directly to police when a child is being molested instead of that molester having a herd of people hiding his crimes for him and letting him get away with it.

Imagine no one caring what goes on in someone else's bedroom.

Imagine equal rights for all people.

Need I go on, Cee Lo Green?

The song wasn't attacking belief itself. People believe crazy shit all the time with no consequences. Religion, however, tells people what to believe and then tells people how to act based on those beliefs. Everywhere, every religion is a stifling, oppressive operation to control the masses. If you wanted a world where "u could believe what u wanted that's all" then you would imagine a world with no religion. Way to miss the point entirely while alienating tons of people.

Cee Lo Green took down the tweet and there are some twitterers out there who are defending him, which will make him sleep better at night, I'm sure, with his bias confirmed by all his like-minded religious fans who enjoy being told what to think by people in robes, but the damage is done. I'm disgusted with him, disappointed and I'm like "Fuck You."