Christmas

Note: I began writing this a couple days after Christmas and didn't publish it. I've decided to go ahead and post it anyway.

Despite my general bah-humbugging, Christmas turned out to be pretty nice. I'm going through a rough time right now, regretting some decisions I've made regarding my career and education, trading financial security in my twenties for some long-term goals I've pushed back. Now that I'm trapped in a career with no way out without risking everything I have, I find myself kicking my own ass for putting myself here.

This, coupled with the losses Chris and I have been dealt this year in losing both of our Grandmas has left me feeling like there's something missing from Christmas that we'll never get back.

Due to the holidays being such miserable bitch-fests between my broken family while I was growing up, it's hard enough for me to enjoy them. My family hadn't spent Christmas with Gram for a number of years before she passed away, despite having grown up going to her house for every holiday, but this year she's gone and that fact solidifies that those days, that joy and union of family, the celebration of together-ness, is gone.  What's left is a December I have to juggle between warring factions, watching what I say in front of whichever party is present at whichever dinner I'm attending.

Maybe I'm just depressed because I took a job way beyond my physical, mental, and emotional abilities and skills. I can't go into too much detail, but I was starting to get hopeful when a professional was called in. They were subsequently dashed by the pickiness and eccentricities of both parties involved and now it's back to square one. I've also discovered I have no more hope of getting affordable health care through this job than I did the last.

Anyway, I started this post explaining how this Christmas was nice and ended up dumping my depressive thoughts all over it. Let me start again.

First, I have the best husband in the world. I can't express enough how supportive he is, even when he doesn't really understand my poor articulation of my own feelings. He's just there for me no matter what.

My family, though broken, split and scattered from the Bay Area to the foothills, have managed to come together for sharing the best of us together. My stepmom made Chris and me a quilt, her very first one. That we were her first project says so much about the repair and building of the relationship between me and her. This wouldn't have always been the case.

My mom worked her ass off at her Christmas to have a dinner and gift exchange for no less than seventeen people. I don't know how she does it, but it went off without a hitch. Her and my stepdad bought us a forty-inch television for Christmas, which we never would have been able to afford on our own.

Christmas day we had a quiet and lovely  gift exchange and lamb dinner at my In-Laws' place.  I was quite comfortable until Chris reminded me I had to work the next day. We stopped by our friend's apartment on the way home and I finally felt like I could get into the Christmas spirit. My friends are expecting a baby and it is so great to see them so happy.

Despite my  change in attitude, the next day I breathed a sigh of relief that Christmas was finally one day in the past. I don't think that's perfectly abnormal, even for those who love Christmas. Anyway, it is what it is and it's over now. On to the New Year.  

Updates and Rants, 10-22-11

October has been as busy as September. We have had something planned every weekend since early September now and we are looking at not having a free weekend well into November. I have forgotten what it's like to wake up on a Saturday and not get showered and dressed until 1pm. Since September we've gone to Monterey, Daly City, Placerville, had people over, seen a couple of our best friends get married, had some great times. I'm not complaining, but it will be nice one of these days to just not go anywhere.

I took my ASL midterm last week and scored a 49 out of 50 points. I was seriously nervous, too! I thought for sure I had at most a C. I could have sworn my teacher looked confused half of the time, but my nerves were just playing tricks on me.

There are people in class that are just helluv rude. They talk out loud on purpose and giggle about it. Not only is it disrespectful to our Deaf teacher, but it's also distracting while we're trying to get instruction from him. One douche-ass stood in front of the class during an exercise where we were describing relationships and made something up about having a girlfriend. That's fine, but when he sat down he said so everyone could hear, "I'm actually single," just to get a laugh. They will all lose the last laugh when their grades come in. My friends and I are telling the teacher who and when the speaking is going on. Yup, I'm a snitch and I don't care.

It's one thing when people whisper to each other to help each other out, but it's another entirely to speak just because the professor can't hear. You would think that in the second level ASL class these students would have a little bit of respect for Deaf people and for the language, but no. I'm sure you've heard this rant before, but it's something that really bothers me. Anyway, that's all the rant I have for tonight.

Mom's up this weekend. We've been hanging out, going to the jazz festival downtown. We went to Davis Common to the Main stage at first. After awhile we realized there was another stage across the street. We went over and listened for awhile. We painted on their art wall in front of the Natsoulas Gallery and then went in and showed mom the staircase of art and the roof. She loved it.

Mom took Chris and I to Ali Baba's for dinner tonight and it was wonderful as ever. It's been a great day. Next weekend, Halloween party!! Weekend after that, Eid!! I'm making cake pops, chili and mulled cider. I was thinking about making a pumpkin pie, but I will probably just buy one, with all the cooking I'll already be doing. Here's to the holiday season!!!

Planning A Party

I've finally gotten the opportunity to host a party. It's a small one. I could only invite four people and they are crashing in my living room that night, but I figure if all goes well, I can eventually have more guests over. There are a ton of people who still haven't seen the new place and who I haven't seen in a long time that I'd love to have over. But this New Year's Eve is my trial party. It's like coming out.

Chris took care of the booze (I stay away from the stuff, I have a predisposition for getting shit faced and throwing my life down the drain when I drink) and I'm taking care of the food. I am using the new cookbook my sweet step-mom, Kathy, gave me and cooking up some meatballs with a hawaiian twist. I also have pesto and bruschetta courtesy of Chris's mom, Robin. In the morning, I plan to use my new waffle maker that my sis Sarah gave me to make waffles for everyone. That ought to soak up the alcohol left in their systems.

I feel so domestic! We did all our laundry this week. It cost over twenty dollars. I bought a real mop (I don't know what happened to the last one I had, so I've been using sponges and towels). I can actually get the floor that Pine-Sol clean smell! (Which Chris hated when I first poured it in the bucket because it was so strong, but appreciated it more after I mopped). I'm finally going through boxes in my closet to get rid of stuff I don't need or want. (Obviously, it's been in boxes for four months, what could I possibly be doing with it)?

The New Year is ahead of me, and I'm looking at it differently this time. I actually have an idea of what my life will be like, what to expect. I'm getting married in June and we've been looking into Disneyland for a honeymoon. I'm learning another language, ASL, and am going to try to recommit to practicing my rusty French a little bit more. I also plan on expanding my culinary experience. I've got about ten recipes I recycle all the time. It's time to break the cycle and learn some new tricks.

This last year brought a lot of changes for me. I left for Europe in August knowing that the next few months would completely alter my life. My big sister got married that summer, I moved to Davis and found a new job in Sacramento, Chris proposed to me, I even joined a softball team. I miss the people I left in Placerville terribly, but I know they're never too far. My life is full and rich and wonderful and I'm grateful for every day I wake up living it. I hope that everyone's new year brings the same joy that I've found. I'm excited about the new adventures I'm facing, while never forgetting "auld lang syne." Happy New Year everyone.

The Sheepherder's Bread

"Pass the mint jelly, please," Chris asked around the table on Christmas Eve at his parents' house. I gladly obliged, having already spread my share on the incredibly delicious lamb on my plate. We were enjoying our dinner with swiss beans, baked potato and a pear and lime jello mold that is Chris's favorite.

"We have Sheepherder's Bread for desert," Robin said, as her and Garry both started laughing. Chris and I looked at each other with eyebrows raised. "Sheepherder's Bread?" I asked.

"Well," Robin began to explain, "It's not really Sheepherder's Bread, but I've got to tell you the story."

"Your father and I were at Railey's yesterday picking up a few things and we saw this item in the bakery that looked like a red velvet cake with some kind of frosting on top. It said, "Sheepherder's Bread" on the label and was only two-forty-nine. I had never heard of it before so we went up to the bakery and asked what it was. The girl behind the counter was very busy and quickly explained as she glanced at the label distractedly, 'Oh yes, Sheepherder's Bread. It's a red velvet cake with a cream cheese frosting. It's delicious. It has a slight cocoa flavor to it. It's really good, I can give you a smple if you'd like.'

"So Garry and I tried it and it was delicious! We brought it up to the register and the cashier looked at us with this puzzled look on her face and said, 'Well, if that's the price they put on it, that's the price I'll give it to you.' At that point, she turned to the bagger and said, 'Look at this.' The bagger looked surprised and asked, 'You think there's any more in the back?' The cashier answered, 'You'd better go check, and if there are, save me some!'

Garry and I were so perplexed at the exchange, so we had to ask as we were paying, just what is up with this Sheepherder's Bread? Just then an announcement came over the loudspeaker, 'Attention Railey's shoppers, we have Red Velvet Cake for justtwelve-ninety-nine in the bakery.' The cashier then explained that the item was mis-marked. It was a red velvet cake we were buying. Sheepherder's Bread is like a baguette with spices on top. We got a twelve-dollar cake for under three! We were laughing all the way out of there as we saw the bagger run to the back to see if there were any more mis-marked cakes to buy up for himself!"

And so, the Grahams and I shared our Red Velvet cake for desert. It was absolutely delicious, and probably the cheapest cake in the world.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve

I have the next five days off of work. Then I go back for two days and get New Years Eve off as well. I don't know how I'm going to drag my ass out of bed to get back into the five-day work week. This is excellent. Of course, I don't get holiday pay, but that concept has been foreign to me since 2008. Somehow, I'll always make my bills work out. If not, I'll just beg Chris for money. There will be a day when he'll have to come crawling to me (as I have to keep reminding him when he gets testy about buying groceries one more time or letting me borrow his car again until I can afford $3.20 a gallon). Anywho, money will be tight but every thing's going to be alright.

I'm having a great holiday season, regardless. I miss the hell out of the peeps in Placerville, but I'm really enjoying Davis and Sacramento. I gave Christmas cards to all my co-workers this year-the first time I've ever been able to do that. I feel like a real grown-up now! (Lol). Now, if only I had bought stamps... The people I'm mailing cards out to will just have to wait for theirs (along with the save-the-dates that Chris and I finally printed). Holidays! Yay!

I wonder if Chris will buy me stuff to make chocolate chip cookies for the party...

Holidays

I have most of my Christmas shopping done! Which means I'll be broke for the next month, but that's just the way it is during the holidays. I'd tell you all what I got Chris, but he happens to read this blog, so I'l save it for Christmas morn'.

New Years Eve I've decided to invite a couple of friends over. It will be my first official event with more than two guests over. It won't be a big deal, just a small get together (it's really all we have room for) but it being my first time is still exciting.

We got our first tree last weekend. It's a super awesome, 3 1/2 foot plastic tree. There wasn't any room for a real one. We got some glass bulbs and brought out the four or five ornaments that we own and set it up. I bought a few more ornaments from the South Side Art Center in Sacramento. It's a program similar to the Creative Arts dept. at M.O.R.E. where I used to work. It's beginnng to look like a true, blue Christmas tree! We even have presents underneath already! I love the holidays!

Thanksgiving Updates and the Best New Game Ever (Not GT5)

The work week was only three days long, and so went by rather quickly, despite Wednesday being the hardest I'd ever had. Due to the nature of my job, I can't go into detail, but I can say I left work feeling completely inept and stressed. I ended up in traffic on the way home and running out of gas. It was brilliant.

I went to bed pretty early Wednesday and woke up only for Chris to ask me if he could go buy Gran Tourismo 5, which had just come out. One less 60+ dollar game I didn't have to buy him for Christmas, I said, "Sure, go ahead."

The next day, we drove to Placerville for dinner with Chris's folks. Chris and his dad, Garry, went to take the dog for a walk while I shared with Chris's mom, Robin, my relief at finding a venue where I could have the ceremony and the reception in one place so that no one would be mad at me for either not being able to go to the ceremony or having to leave some family members at the reception hall or whatever. Robin thought that was excellent. I think Chris and Garry liked it even more because it meant they don't have to clean up the yard anymore.

When Chris and Garry and Baxter (the toy poodle) got back from their walk Garry asked Robin about Gran Tourismo 5 and whether or not it had been on Chris's Christmas list. Oops. The ensuing comedy (or tragedy?) of Robin booting up her computer and searching her email for the Christmas list on which Chris insisted he had never put Gran Tourismo 5 resulted in Chris being promised a bag of coal under the tree this year. Chris swears he doesn't remember sending that email, the poor guy, but there it was from his address. After all was settled, we had wonderful snacks and a lovely dinner.

The next day we went to Tracy for my mom's Thanksgiving. It was splendid! The turkey was super moist. I don't know how my mom does it. I ate seconds for the sake of seconds, as I was no longer hungry, but what the hell-it's the holidays. I did exercise this week for at least a half hour at a time, so I'm not completely in the red.

Afterward, we played the traditional Apples to Apples game, of course, followed by a new game that requires nothing but pens, paper and an imagination. It's called "Toilet Paper Roll." The idea is that everyone writes a sentence on the top of a piece of paper and then folds the paper forward so that the sentence is facing up. The paper is then passed to the left. Players read the sentence and then draw a picture depicting it and fold the paper forward again so that the person they pass it to next can't see the original sentence, only the picture. That person then must right a sentence explaining what they see in the picture. At one point, seeing my picture of an army of bunnies saluting Hitler near the bottom of the paper, Chris said, "Oh god. I see where this came from my original sentence." The game is a blast.

Michelle, my little sister, brought her Holland Lop rabbit, Waffle with her. She said she just felt like taking him, but she knows I'm trying to wear Chris down into giving me a rabbit for Christmas, so I think it was also a good tool to get Chris to look at the bunny, pet the bunny, know the bunny and maybe want a bunny himself. We'll see. I'm still working on him.

The weekend has been pretty lazy. I'm enjoying my time off. Work is going to be hard to go back to on Monday, which is pretty much normal after these long holidays, but I'm ready. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!